Welp! That’s great! Gonna rant now!
AS USUAL WHAT ELSE IS NEW
Before he was 8, things were fine and dandy and he’s a happy adorable snotrag!
He isin’t treated any differently and if he is, he’s too young to notice at the time.
He’s 10. He’s talented at creating animation and draws like a pro.
Early primary school; things are fine but he feels a little confused that he’s one of the very few black kids in his school. Apart from that, he enjoys school and no trouble making friends. Still a witty & bright little smartass!
12 years old. Parents are called into school because teacher feels my brother cheated on a test (he was one of the few that scored the highest. Also the only black boy in his class).
Brother is confused. Says he didn’t cheat on anything. Parents tell him not to cheat and to work harder.
The year goes by. Parents are called in again. Teacher puts my brother at the very back of the class because “he was late for school”.
13 years old. A little bit wary of how his teacher only seems to target him- and only him- in his entire class of 20+ pupils. Notices he’s the only one in class not getting enough attention for homework stuff. Doesn’t put his hand up in class for questions much anymore because parents are always called in because ‘he asks too much questions’.
14years old. Last year. There’s a group science project (the group with the best science model gets to represent their school and meet the President of Ireland). Years of being good with drawings, animation and now physics helps him a lot. Other teacher remarks on how great his science model was. His group wins. He gets to meet the president.
Principal tells my brother he’s no longer allowed in his own group work. He’s replaced with a white boy that’s not even in his class. This boy and the rest of the group are the ones to meet the President and be on local newspaper. With his science project on the front.
My brother is devastated. He cried so hard the entire night. He was frustrated, confused, angry and shocked.
The principal asks my brother to join the group again right after they other boys have met the president. My brother joins but he’s raging. He’s wary. The president will never know that the boy who made the science project that was on the newspapers was him. A black boy.
He doesn’t talk much in class anymore. He doesn’t raise his hands up anymore. He doesn’t care. School sucks. Parents are called in about his ‘bad attitude’. Parents are alert at what’s going on but say nothing because they threatened their son with expulsion.
Brother knows his teacher hates him and singles him out. He has learnt to not be smart in class. He now hangs around a rough crowd (he’s never done this before). School sucks, who cares when your teacher mocks u in front of everyone else?
He gets into big trouble these days. His grades are slipping. He even smashed a neighbour’s window ‘for fun’.
He’s watching other black kids in his area stereotyped as lazy hooligans.
He is sort of becoming one. He still loves to draw and is still a bright boy in school. Teacher not happy with it because he prefers if my brother does nothing.
I’m MAAAAD when I find out finally why my brother has changed so much. I hate the world. I hate white people sometimes. You have made my brother believe that he’s good for nothing at school. He was a bright and smart-assy kid.
He’s a wary and quiet boy now.
And you have no fucking idea how exhusting it is to remind him everyday that he’s just as good as all the other boys. Fuck you. I fucking hate this world. I fucking hate you for telling me that ‘racism is over, its all in your head’
I fucking HATE that my little sister (8) is being mocked by the kids in her class for ‘having chocolate fingers he wants to eat’. My sister is uncomfortable in that class when that kid is around.
I hate you for telling the world that black people aren’t good enough unless they are at the back of the class, shutting the fuck up. I hate everything at this moment.
If racism completely alters my brother’s perception of himself, i will cry. I will rage. And I will be called the angry black fucking woman.
And tomorrow and the rest of his childhood, he’s going to have to get over this and pretend it doesn’t happen. Pretend racism doesn’t happen.