I’ve been really self-conscious lately.
When I first started to deal with my MS, I guess you could say I was a little dark. Or sad. Sad is probably a better word. Anyway, when I first started dealing with it, someone who knows me pretty well and often comes to me for companionship told me I was being boring.
And it stung.
I had never been called boring before. And this person continues to suggest that I may be boring. And maybe I’m upset over nothing, but after a while something like that starts to settle in your thoughts.
I feel like I could be doing a better job at entertaining my friends. I know that I’m not talking as much as I used to. Believe me, I’m trying. But it’s terrifying and embarrassing when all of the people you hang around with are so articulate and a fucking disease prevents you from saying the words in your brain. And I feel so bad because I may come off as being bored or uninterested in what a person is saying and jesus christ, I fucking care what they’re talking about. It’s just so much harder to respond now.
I could be trying harder to want to be around people, but what if I’m no longer fun to be around? What if people would rather not be around me? What if I’m just a huge fucking downer?
What if I’m boring?
- sainthannah said: You are not even remotely boring, Ashley. You’re the funniest person I know, and you care about important things, and you’re fun to be around. In fact, I miss you and I’ve been meaning to ask when you’re free next.
- catwoo said: People who don’t know, really don’t understand what it’s like to have something others don’t. Especially when it hinders your daily abilities. Maybe they’re trying to understand but they’re not using the best approach? My family does that some of the time
- allthecleverthings said: You are anything but boring. You are probably the most entertaining person I’ve ever met. You make small talk interesting. That dos equis commecial, should be about you. Please never stop being yourself. Whoever said that deserves a kick in the face.
- lyndez posted this